Isn’t it crazy how quickly time passes? In the moment, it doesn’t feel like it at all. Ask a pregnant woman who is nearing her due date and ready to give birth and that last 9 months will feel as though it was an eternity. But ask that same woman on her child’s first birthday and the 12 months previous will seem like a blur. And before we know it that same child is starting school. When we look back, the years are like a drop in the bucket and it’s hard to imagine how we got to where we are today in such a short period of time. But when we are in the middle of it all, it seems like the time is passing so slow and we will never make it to our goals.
I used to hate it in job interviews when the interviewer would say “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” How am I supposed to know today where I will be in 5 years?! There are SO many different journey’s my life can take between now and then and while it is important to have goals and visions of the life you want to achieve, I don’t ever want to limit myself to what I can dream. I have proof that what I couldn’t have imagined IS possible if you don’t put limits on yourself and stay open to all the possibilities life provides. I am living the limitless life!!
Just over 5 years ago, I was working – full time and part time (I always planned on being an entrepreneur). I was in a committed relationship and we lived a pretty carefree life. Sure we had a home (mortgage) but we also had 2+ incomes, no kids and tons of freedom. We could go on vacation when/where we wanted. We weren’t sure we were going to have kids. Not that we didn’t love kids, we just didn’t know if WE wanted any. We kind of liked life as it was. We were comfortable. I loved my “part time” job in direct sales, was top in my franchise working toward goals and achieving them week after week. My full time job wasn’t awful, I just loved the idea of working for myself so I worked very hard day and night to turn my little business into something more stable so I could live a more flexible life.
Then one day I discovered I was pregnant. It was the most stressful moment of my life to say the least. As much as I felt an instant protective instinct over this little being inside of me, I didn’t know how my partner would react or how I felt about what this would mean to the life I loved.
And then suddenly.......I stopped worrying. Maybe my life was going to take a different path then I expected. Maybe I really didn’t know exactly what I wanted. Maybe the universe was throwing me a curve ball and seeing where my hopes and dreams really lied.
Long story (ok, longer....) short, my son was the best dream I never imagined. Being pregnant was scary and new and exciting. The thought of bringing a new life into this world – a little “us” – was an amazing opportunity.
What I knew though, was that life as I knew it was going to change and I need to figure out how to make it change – FAST!! I didn’t want to be that stressed out, crazy mom with a day care raising her child 12 hours a day. I needed to set priorities immediately for the new life inside of me. I was 8 months pregnant when I took my Reflexology training. It was the greatest experience of my life. I was so excited to know that I could help others in their health goals. My years of having my own direct sales business were a great base to helping me learn how to start my own Reflexology business. I asked my trainer – Can I do this? Can I make a viable business with just Reflexology?
Her answer wasn’t YES!!
She said, if anyone can Tanya, I know it will be you. It’s not the norm, but with some hard work and maybe some other things to compliment it, you can do it.
That was all I needed. Someone who believed in me, and some motivation. What better motivation then the little face that was looking up at me keeping me up at night, teaching me to breastfeed, change diapers?
Was the road easy? Was the path exactly what I planned or expected? Ah...NO! I thought I would easily slide into motherhood and build a business and kiss my full time job away. I was SUPERMOM after all right?
Enter – the unexpected journey to today!!
I didn’t expect a child who started having stranger and separation anxiety at 3 months old. How was I going to build a business that way? I achieved my certification quickly and easily, but does anyone know how hard it is to build a business? A business that is going to replace the lucrative income you currently make at your full time job. And with a partner that worked nights and a toddler who still scream cried every time I was out of the room. And what about sleep? Would that EVER come? How long would it be before that child slept through the night and I could sleep in my own bed again? Would he sleep with me until he was a teenager (because people convince you he will!!)? I had given up my old dreams to have this child, was I going to have to give up my new dreams too?
Wow, how fast time goes. I can barely believe that I am the same person today that I am describing in the paragraphs above. Do you know why I’m not the same person? Because I never let those negative thoughts stand in my way. I rolled with the punches instead of crumbling in defeat. I created my new journey by taking advantage of opportunities as they came my way. I worked at it, hard work!! I didn’t stop at my reflexology training. I added Hot Stone and Indian Head Massage. I didn’t stop at being a Reflexologist. I knew others had to learn this as well and I was passionate about teaching them so I began instructor training. I wasn’t just a Reflexologist – like any other in the community, I specialized my practice based on my passions of working with children and pregnant women. I traveled to Cincinnati OH to take Baby and Child Reflexology with Sue Ricks who had traveled from the UK to teach us. I networked with other reflexologists in other communities and helped bring Maternity Reflexology training to Canada. And then I learned about Doula work and felt it was a great way to compliment my services. And then one day I learned that the beautiful woman who was teaching the Doula programs in my area was looking to retire and had approached my training organization about adding the programs to the list of alternative health practices we already taught. Since I had just completed my instructor training, the question came to me – would I want to train to instruct the Doula programs for HALO? What an opportunity!!
But I couldn’t do that, right? My son was barely 2, and what was that sleep thing anyway? How long could a person go without a full night sleep? How could I be a Doula when I still worked full time and my partner was gone have the week? What would I do if I got a call in the middle of the night when my partner was gone? What would I do if I got called during the work day, what would I tell my employer? This wasn’t reflexology clients who I could plan into my own schedule! This was 24/7 on call and needing to leave at a moment’s notice to be bright and chipper and happily helping a woman overcome her fears and achieve her goals. Not to mention that after all that I would have to mentor other people in this journey as well! Market and advertise and organize classes and have people staring at me (I hate public speaking by the way!!) while I tried to explain things to them that I was just figuring out myself. I couldn’t do that!! I didn’t have time. I didn’t have patience. I didn’t have the perfect sleep through the night child. I didn’t have the supportive partner who always looked at the bright side. He wasn’t even home most of the time because at this point he traveled for work. HOW COULD I EVEN CONSIDER DOING THIS?!
But I did it.
The one thing – other than my motivation and determination – that has always seen me through is the big picture. I don’t know the details of that big picture most of the time, but I try to not focus on that. I focus on where my heart is, listening to my instincts when opportunities come my way, being grateful for all that I do have (My partner does travel 4 days of the week, but he is home 3. My parents are in town and my step-dad is retired so is always happy to spend time with his grandson if I get called away. I have supportive friends and family and colleagues who I can always turn to in order to vent if I am having a rough day. They won’t hold it against me, they will listen and then be there for me when I finish my pity party and am ready to tackle the world again), remembering the things that are most important to me and not sacrificing on those, remaining open to all possibilities the are available to me and always doing my best.
Do I worry about money? Sure, who doesn’t!! Especially the day I did finally leave my full time job since I’m not independently wealthy. But you know what I have learned? If you don’t stress about how the bills will get paid, work hard and stay focused, somehow they do get paid. I can’t explain why to you because I don’t know. But not stressing about it has helped me.
Can you believe that it was only just over 5 years ago that this journey began? I can’t! I never could have imagined I would be where I am today when people asked me – “Where do you see yourself in 5 years”.
Never let fear stand in your way. Don’t stand in the way of your own success! You can be the best YOU possible so build your own success and make it happen. There will always be excuses why you can’t, be the reason you CAN.
Tanya Goreing is the proud mother of one boy and the owner of Soul Treatments. The natural health of woman and children is her passion!